Is it wrong for a people to be enlightened? To be equipped with information? To know their rights and demand for more when what the rulers are providing/doing is not enough and there are enough resources to achieve more? To be able to challenge the systems that are not working and face up to whoever is in charge and demand for what is theirs’? At this point I just wonder what has consistently held us back as a people, as a nation, as a country and as a continent for so long…You and I do not need to look very far…

When a mind has been constantly used to a certain way of thinking given a set of circumstances, that mind is bound and therefore has limits, a stunted growth and limited reasoning capabilities. In this case our imposed leaders know that when the people are being equipped with information and are being enlightened about the structures and the systems,  they have limitless power to challenge the systems and structures when they are not working accordingly. I strongly believe that our leaders have not been fair and have kept useful information from us. For instance, why is it taking so long for the Freedom of Information Bill to be passed into law? It is interesting to know that some group(s) of people are riding high in this chaos and anarchical situation that our country is tending towards. I guess there is no need to begin to enumerate the problems we suffer as a nation because its constantly in our face as we are being reminded everyday;in our homes and businesses when there is no power, on our roads when we ride on gallops and potholes that are fast becoming ditches, in our hospitals where people that need not die are dying for lack of skilled/trained professionals and equipments and yet these same doctors from our own country perform exploits in distant lands or another startling reality is the fact most of the ‘elite’  and all of us put together who are educated and are in the know and are rarely actively involved in taking responsibility but by our silence, nonchalance and negligence have allowed our country to gradually come to this decay…and  I could go on and on and on…

That is why I joined thousands of other Nigerians in the SAVE NIGERIA March rally which held on yesterday to say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

2011 Elections will definitely not be business as usual!

We must rise up as a people and say NO MORE to stagnation, ill-rule,  deceptive and stunted leadership!

Credible Leaders are needed here and now! If you have the capacity to lead and you are still surrounding yourselves with proverbs, you and I will have the future to answer for it!

We cannot allow the worst of us to continue to rule the rest of us!

We remind our rulers that a LEADER is ELECTED to SERVE! And not imposed on the people  to carry out their own selfish agendas and programmes!

Our votes must count in 2011!

We say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

How time flies! Another Christmas just gone by and The New Year is here all at Once! Whoa! Hope you had a wonderful Christmas inspite of the forecast and happenings for last year. Last year was really very hectic filled with so much uncertainty at the beginning, so many headlines and deadlines, job losses, job cuts, salary cuts and all kinds of cuts. Probably you were not able to meet all the deadlines you set to achieve your goals. There’s no need to give up on yourself, even the best intentions have a way of getting sidetracked by unexpected circumstances and events…

If you are anything like me, the last 12months have been a mix of experiences that have brought either great joy or deep grief.We’ve celebrated birthdays and graduations, mourned loss of loved ones. Laughter and tears, pleasure and pain, sucess and failure;are all part of life day by day, year by year. Things may not have gone the way you planned due to no fault of yours but you don’t have to kick yourself or think little of yourself because you didn’t achieve all you had hoped to achieve.

Instead look at things this way, you are alive and another Year is here! You just made it through 365 days of peril; road and flight perils, not reporting live from a hospital bed a global recession and so many other things you had to contend with. You will agree with me that there’s lots of reasons to be Thankful.

A little digression here…Permit me to ask, What does Christmas mean to you? I hope it’s not the fantasy story of an adorable baby. Please I would like you to get rid of that idea and realize that the baby was born for a purpose. Christmas is really the story about the person into whom the baby grew, who can redeem the world from its sins and calls us into partnership with His great and mighty purposes. He was actually born to die that we might live. It is only when we see the birth of Jesus Christ in the light of His crucifixion and resurrection that we are able to grasp the full meaning of Christ’s coming.

Perhaps Christmas was unavoidably sad for you. Take Heart. Christmas needn’t be merry to be meaningful. It’s the Christ of Christmas we celebrate not Christmas itself.

Everywhere there are people who need comfort, encouragement and reassurance. The birth of Jesus Christ in Bethlehem is God’s gift of reassurance and hope. Today, even in the middle of our own conflict and fear, the Saviour who was born offers His presence and peace to all who know Him. Never has there been a greater gift than the gift God gave Himself on the first Christmas morning. Here is hope ever new, let it be alive in you. Christmas is only meaningful when you reach out to others and spread the message of love, joy, peace and hope to them.

Alright that was a useful digression… Back to the New Year. Ok, so here we are blessed with the gift of another 365days (well 360 days actually) with life, health and strength and so much more…

Irrespective of what may have happened, I believe it’s time to put the past behind us and look forward to the great potentials and possibilities we could make happen for ourselves this year! This year is loaded with so much but I would ask that you be very attentive and be on the alert. DO NOT ALLOW this year to pass you by minute after minute, hour after hour, day after  and month after month leaving you wondering how did it all pass me by? The secret to a victorious life is in your everyday routine and lifestyle. Why is this year different? For starters, this is the beginning of a new decade and the next ten years will be full of events and happenings that will be significant in world history and coming back home in the history of  Nigeria as well. This is the Year of  Jubilee!( Nigeria will be 50 this year!) It’s the Year of Liberty, you are a partaker of that liberty which means nothing can and should STOP you from achieving your goals and dreams for this Year on! It’s a great time to position yourself and not be left behind in the move of things. So start living and Yes! Do something about those dreams that have remained dreams for a long time now!

A Very Progressive, Rewarding and Fulfilling Year To Us All!

For some of us, it is a reminder that the year is closing in very quickly in just matter of days and there are still lots of headlines that have been left unattended to.

For another group of people, it is a reminder that the  Christmas  celebrations is around the corner and lots of expenses to be made!

For yet another set of people, it is a time to take an inventory of all they had hoped to achieve and with the time left hit their targets.

All of these activities point to something; Time has been given to everyone on the surface of the earth in the same measure and quantity, it is however how we make use of it that distinguishes us. Time is no respecter of persons and in whatever way you make use of it today, the same way you will reap its rewards later.

Yes I agree that this year may not have been rosy for lots of us…People who have lost their jobs unexpectedly, people who have had their salaries and allowances slashed and all sorts of things they have had to contend with at the workplace and at the homefront and just last weekend it seems as if an artificial fuel scarcity is here again and a possible adjustment in the pump price of petroleum products is looming…Yes lots of issues to deal with…yes I know…But…

I know there are a myriad of opportunities to add to our streams of income that we have refused to explore (I’m not saying jump into every opportunity that comes your way without checking for credibility because we think we are very busy and have chosen to console ourselves with the excuses we’ve made for ourselves, I also know of people who have made more money this year than they would have imagined inspite of the global and local situations and circumstances that surround us, people who have gone on luxury vacations their first ever this year without batting an eyelid about the cost implication, people who have launched their own businesses and have made a success out of themselves already…

So, Wherever you are, whoever you are, this is not the time to blame the world nor your local  government for your inability to achieve your goals because of the global meltdown/financial crunch or loss of stocks in the stock market, its not a time to play the blame game at all…

It is time to; Look within and check your self, what is it that you have, what skill can you improve upon or develop? There are some skills that can be learnt as well that can add to your streams of income;

Look around you, there are myriad of opportunities you can be a part of that can add to your streams of income,  of course check for legitimacy and credibility before you plunge into any one…

Whatever you have or think you can do just make the most of TIME!

Our Great Nation Nigeria is 49years after gaining independence. I guess that’s not the news…Going by the way the day was celebrated, it is very obvious that Nigerians are visibly agitated and are just plain tired and frustrated. When asked a good number of people who tuned in to listen to the President’s speech, I got answers in the negative. Isn’t it sad that Nigerians are no longer interested in what The President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria has to say concerning the direction of the country? Isn’t it a shame that the words of our leaders past and present have over the years lacked credibility and integrity? Speeches made in times past have just been mere words promising everything but doing nothing…Nothing to rescue the nation from its sickly state so much so that the one called the ‘Giant of Africa’ is still struggling behind nations that have far less resources but have leaders who are running with a vision for their country. That we are still groping in the dark and have not gotten clear cut direction and strategies on how to begin to rescue the state of the nation leaves much to be desired talk less of rolling out the drums to celebrate…Phew!

Actually I’m not here to condemn Nigeria and Nigerians. I agree that Nigeria may have sold its birthright to other nations and is probably oblivious to the fact because one wonders why and how a nation with so much human and material resources lags behind “lesser nations” with not as much but are doing quite well e.g Ghana I guess we all know that. I know that many Nigerians have left the shores of this country to other distant shores and who have brought great changes to those countries in terms of intellectual capital and are who are consistently adding value to those countries, I know Nigeria commands a lot respect because of the size of its population and has become a stop for investors seeking business opportunities from around the world but we are still being ripped off in the outcomes of these mega business deals; I also know that God definitely has a plan for Nigeria…There may not be many things fundamentally wrong with this nation but as a people there are many things fundamentally wrong… But still…

I see a time when this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed; That we shall be truly free from what has held us bound in our minds and in our thoughts and in our actions, that we shall awake from our slumber and begin to do what we have always known how to do to make a country great, that truly the labour of our heroes past shall not be in vain, that one day this nation will value the lives of the citizenry , a country worth dying for, that our country will be built once  more on its true values of freedom, justice, love, honesty,  peace and unity,that the true leaders of this nation will emerge from their various cocoons and rise up to take responsibility to steer this country to greatness once again…

I see the dawn of a new era in our great country where there shall be meat and drink available to all at unbelieveably low prices; I see a time when the essence of education shall be returned to our schools and students can afford to go to schools for their right to education, a Nigeria where Nigrians shall be able to speak out for their rights and their right to be heard, a Nigeria that will become soon enough the most desireable nation to live on earth!

Sounds farfetched? sounds like the same old rhetorics without action? Sounds impossible, unbelieveable, unachieveable? One thing I know is this it may sound like a whole lot of familiar things but what will sound and will be unforgiveable is after having witnessed and gone through so much as a nation, we as a people sit back and do nothing about the situation, about our leaders, about ourselves…Then we may as well not point accusing fingers at anyone but ourselves for allowing ourselves become sitting ducks while we allow people who are not as intelligent and without as much qualifications and skill govern us.

This country is bounded by freedom and free men we are and free men we shall be!

“New every morning is Thy Love
Our wakening and uprising proof
Through sleep and darkness safely brought
Restored to Life and Power and Thought”

And so usually I would sing this song thankful to God for the privilege of seeing the dawn of a new day but this particular day a part of the lyrics of the song really hit me and it was like I had not thought about it or noticed it before. It was a hidden message in the song and really it made a lot of sense to me. It says that we have been restored to life and power and thought. A sudden realization hit me of how important these three gifts are and a myriad of thoughts flashed through my mind at that instant. I’d like to share some of them with you.

Life

Life in itself is a gift. A very sacred and precious one at that. When we are asleep a lot of things happen that our consciousness cannot document. It is for this reason that LIFE becomes a gift not to be taken for granted. We are being restored back to our senses each new dawn and I might add with fresher ideas too than yesterday.  I was told sometime ago that the angels in heaven were in the habit of pleading with God to give them a chance to come in human form and live on planet earth, talk about how precious life is. You have heard it being said many times, ‘Where there is life, there is hope’ but I daresay to you today that it is God that gives the true meaning to life and makes life worth living. Once you have discovered the purpose for your creation, I challenge you today to live the life you are born to live. According to scripture, Jesus was speaking, He said, ‘I have come that you may have life and have it more abundantly’; ‘I am the Resurrection and the Life’; ‘The Lord is the strength of my life’ etc. Yes there are so many people living today who are living life in drudgery and just living for the sake of living (that sounds to me like mere existence without any impact). There is nothing to look forward to and see life with a very myopic mindset, worse still encouraging themselves with the words ‘where there is life, there is hope’. Hope for what I ask? What you have not dared to inscribe in mind of your heart, how can you hope for it or more so know how to live it? Yes I do agree that where there is Life, there is Hope but what exactly is the quality of life in question. Are we really challenging ourselves to live the quality of life we truly should be living or we are just following the mantra of the crowd? Are we really choosing to live life with strength and vigour or we are just content with passing through and accepting anything and everything that comes our way? I urge my friend to look deep within you and ask your self pertinent questions about the quality of life you are living currently and what you are doing to improve it.

Power

With the blessing of life comes power, dominion, and authority. Ultimately everyone will realize that we all have the power to decide what we allow happen to us. We have the power to influence the quality of events that happen to us or allow come our way. Interestingly, we all know that we have the power of choice but how much of that power do we exercise? Scripture says we have been given dominion over every creeping, flying, crawling, walking and thinking creature but we still let some blessings and opportunities slip away simply because we do not take charge of our life.

Thought

Cogito ergo sum – I think, therefore, I exist
Rene Descartes

These were the words of one of the greatest philosophers and by which he became popular for. He was able to come to a conclusion after a lot of research that the ability to think in itself is equal to existence.

It therefore forms one of the core occupations we have in our journey through life. Yes the ability to think for it is what distinguishes us from the rest of the other creatures. You might be wondering but it is such an easy thing to do. Well unfortunately, as easy as it sounds, a lot of us are caught in the dilemma of not being able to think beyond what we can see.  With thinking comes existence. You only need to think it and it is. It is by the thought patterns of others that a lot of the things we have the privileges of using today came into existence and many more inventions and innovations are still in the pipeline because more people are still thinking. Even the scripture lends a lot of credence to that, God said,’ Let there be light and (you bet!) there was light’. It all starts with our thoughts. It is what you think that you become (it comes into existence- a reality. A lot has been said and a lot is still being said about the power of positive thinking. Believe me Impossible is nothing. All things are indeed possible. It only depends on how bad you want it because whatever you are now or wish to become is fuelled by the quality of your thoughts and thought patterns.

So I suggest you think wisely.

We are already into the second half of the year 2009 and into the 3rd quarter . A myriad of things have been happening lately and I must add very quickly too.

On the political scene, the people of Iran are registering their displeasure about a certain election that was held in their country. The results they believe was rigged. They have proceeded to the streets to protest the results of an election they felt was rigged and demanded for a recount of the votes.  For several days they took to the streets protesting the results of the elections even when some of them were killed in the process…An unusual occurence in Iran. And even when the Supreme Leader spoke and urged people to return to their homes that they should embrace peace ( of course endorsing the leader the people didn’t want) they did not budge. But really when citizens of a country are tired of the way they are being governed after being tossed around for too long especially in place like Iran whose system and way of life is embedded in Islam whose people are always faithful and loyal to their leaders…Then there is a problem…

Then on the 25th of June the whole world awoke to the strangest of headlines…Micheal Jackson is DEAD! And he was just half a century old(50 years)!Michael Jackson dead! You mean the King of Pop is dead! Quickly as if by default my mind flashed back to all the songs that MJ had sang that had topped the charts and is still holding several world records.  Songs from the all time award winning, best selling, record holding’ Thriller Album‘ most especially. ‘Thriller‘, ‘Beat it‘, and ‘Billie Jean‘ are songs I grew up to know and dance to as a little girl. Then his USA for Africa hit ‘We Are The World’ a song rendered by a constellation of various superstars from around world  and ‘ Heal The World. I mean who didn’t know Michael Jackson? His ‘bonfo’ trousers, obvious white socks, dazzling dance steps…(tell me one child who did not try to mimic his moonwalk back in ‘em days). Meen it was just too much for everyone to bear. Then all in a frenzy as if to confirm the truth of this very strange headline people like hit the internet and also began pressing their phone buttons so much so that for a while internet search engine Google almost crashed. All in the name of one man…One man who truly touched the world the only he knew how to and made such a remarkable and indelible statement all over the globe…through music and entertainment.Through his music he was able to bring everyone and I mean the whole world together whether black or white.His love and passion to help children,how about as a philanthropist? He out gave many people to what cause you might ask? To the cause of needy and dying children. I could go on and on and on but like someone said, He gave to the world he lived that was in need but when he was in need, no one gave to him. Well I would not go into the details of his private life but so far, he was someone that was very familiar with pain and had a very troubled life to cope with and still there’s so much controversy surrounding his death. He was truly a great man.

Just the day before the movie industry lost another one of its star actress…Farrah Fawcett of the Charlie’s Angels movie fame who at the age of 62 lost a hard, well fought battle to anal cancer. In fact, it  the entertainment industry has been seriously hit.

But in all of this, what is the moral of the story? What and How would  you like to be remembered? Think about it…It’s up to you!

Rolled out of bed this morning and on the wrong side too! I can’t believe I am 30 already! 10,957 days gone! Oh where did all the time go? Always thought I would be the CEO of my own consulting outfit by 30, you know get married by 25, have children before 30, thought I should be on top of my game already. But guess what? I’m still ‘honourably’ employed, my consulting business not here yet and I’m still not married! Time just flew by and I’m wondering what I did with all the 262,800 hours I have lived!

Sounds familiar to some of us eh? We are all at some time or the other faced with the reality of the length of time we have spent and how so little our achievements seem in contrast. Then it hits us straight in the face that we have not been very good stewards of our time. Time literally slipped through our hands and we begin to count the years wondering where we got the wrinkles from. We need to take charge of our time for within it lies tremendous opportunities for growth, success, innovation and untold influence and wealth creation.

We have the power of choice and responsiblity to maximise our time and guide against time wasters/thieves, like laziness/idleness, procrastination, lack of planning, excuses, frivolities etc. For time is like a fertile soil, it multiplies what you sow in it; when you give it nothing, expect nothing or better still expect weeds of unfulfillment, inefficiency, poverty etc

We cannot change what happened yesterday and we have little control of what comes tomorrow. What we have is TODAY. Today is a gift from God to be shared with all we love. Let’s spend today making a memory that we will remember years from now when we are sitting all alone reflecting how time has flown.

God Bless.

The year was 1954 and that was when the United Nations (UN) General Assembly recommended that all countries should institute a Universal Children’s Day to be observed. This should be a day to celebrate children and draw attention to their problems. Surprisingly, 55 years after, the challenges facing children especially in African countries and other Third World countries are enormous and causing hardship to the children.

However, realising that all is not well with the World’s children and recognising that children have rights that must be documented, the UN General Assembly, promoted, enforced and adopted in 1959, the Declaration of the Rights of the child which addresses the rights of children and youth under 18 years. Also in 1989, the UN adopted the Convention on the Rights of the child, which covers in its 54 articles all the rights of the children. This has to do with health care, education and the right to have an opinion. Since children’s day is to celebrate “Childhood”, it is usually a day for tribute for all children of the world and usually marked with promises by different governments.

But…despite the UN convention on the Rights of the child and the Child Rights Act, despite the addresses of government officials about the state of the Nigerian child and good promises (empty promises if you ask me) to enhance their living standard, it is flabbergasting that the rights of the children of Nigeria, to a large extent are still being violated…The condition of the children remains unchanged, unprotected and their rights violated.

For example, such basic rights as the right to education, healthcare, protection from child labour, trafficking, sexual and other forms of exploitation and drug abuse, right to rest and leisure, play and recreation, right to decent standards of living, right to protection from abuse and neglect, protection from illicit transfer and illegal adoption, right to survival and development and the right to non-discrimination are scarcely respected or enforced. In diverse forms, children are being discriminated against. In some states of the country, discriminatory school fees are being charged. While in some other states, children from some parts of the country are not admitted, all based on ethnicity and or religion!!! Where is the one Nigeria we have been talking about?!

For many Nigerian children, Children’s Day is just a day like any other day. This is because such children are living below poverty line while struggling to make enough money to feed themselves and often, other members of their families. Some children live on the streets doing menial jobs for survival, some face the risk of being sold and trafficked, some are being abused, maltreated and exploited, some are sick with no access to health care, some have no clean water or electricity. In other words, they suffer all days. It makes no difference to them because of hardship as well as abject poverty and the holiday is nothing to them because they don’t even attend school.

As we celebrate Children’s Day, I ask “What About The Children?” Don’t just shrug your shoulders and turn away. Whether we like it or not we are  all they have and they are all we have. To ignore is very easy but our nonchalant attitude towards issues that concern them will cause them to choose the wrong path.  “Agba ki wa l’oja, ki ori omo tun tun wo” Our parents are not helping matters either because they are working from sunrise to sunrise just to make ends meet whilst leaving their children at the mercy of the television, media, internet, house helps, stewards and other domestic staff without proper guidance. Already these children are being set up and  are accidents just waiting to happen. How can they learn? How will they hear? How can they feel? How can they know the right way, the right attitude or anything right for that matter when they were neither taught nor shown nor told?

Like the lyrics of a popular song by Whitney Houston, one of the greatest singing legends of our time, she sang;

“I believe that children are our future,

Teach them well and let them lead the way

Show them all the beauty they possess inside…”

…Because they are the future of the world, They are the hope of the nation, They are tomorrow’s people, They are our inspiration, They are the ones who will make this world a better place for you and for me long after we are gone. They are our children and they live in our society and it is our collective responsibility to ensure that  as adults, we create a world of love where they can grow and thrive, to teach them values and principles that will outlive us. Let’s remember that we were also children and if not for those who loved us and who cared enough to show us, where would we be today? Truth is if we don’t rise up today our children and youths will curse us  tomorrow wondering, What legacy we left in our time for them to continue…

Is that asking for too much?

]]> http://kejiogunbanjo.wordpress.com/2009/05/27/what-about-the-children/feed/ 0 Kaygee http://kejiogunbanjo.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/all-the-single-ladies/ http://kejiogunbanjo.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/all-the-single-ladies/#comments Tue, 12 May 2009 14:45:19 +0000 Keji Ogunbanjo http://kejiogunbanjo.wordpress.com/?p=107 ]]> Some time ago, I went to visit a family friend and during those moments of laughter and fun, she and her husband were all over each other. When she was walking me to the gate, I seized the opportunity to ask her this question, “Do you mean after ten years of marriage you still play lovey-dovey with your husband. Are you telling me that you are not bored or tired of being married to him?” Innocent question but it caught her by surprise and this is what she had to say;

“Living together will be difficult if you are not friends with your spouse or intended because friendship is truly a basis to any great marriage. “ A friend is somebody emotionally close; someone who trusts and is fond of another.

Friendship in marriage is like the proverbial houses Jesus talked about in Matt 7:24 -27. A wise man builds his’ on the rock but the foolish man builds his’ on the sand. When the strong winds of trials and  tribulations blow, only the wise man’s house will be standing strong but that of the foolish man falls down with a mighty crash.

Thinking through all she said , here’s what I’ve got to say about  keeping it real in your relationship;

Deep Knowledge Of Each Other

This important truth in any relationship cannot be over-emphasized as many marriages struggle or fail because of lack of knowledge and unrealistic expectations of their spouses and their relationship. Know well and I mean very well each other’s likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses and still continue to live in love.

Share Your Lives Together

What’s the sense in having so many dreams, aspirations, goals et al without someone to share it with? No memories and fun moments ( and angry ones too)to share , no great fights and disagreements which are bound to happen but you just laugh about later etc.  I urge you to be passionate about the things that matter to you and to your partner, share your dreams and aspirations in life and help each other be the best that you can be. There should be no competition rather let him find a partner in you.

Laughter

When choosing a life partner, one check you could do is, Count the number of times he made you laugh. Why? Friendship in marriage means that the marriage will be filled with memories and if laughter and humour aint one of them, well…………….

Transparency

When you hurt, let him know and allow him the privilege of being there for you and to rise up to the occasion. Learn to be comfortable with each other. He is one person and can count on no matter what. His heart and money should be safe with you.

Communication

This should have been my number one point. I guess I was just putting down  my thoughts down as they came. Nevertheless, I have come to know that this is a very serious factor not only in marriage but in any relationship.

Friendship means open communication and honesty; being assured that whatever you say will not be judged or taken in a negative light. If you speak  to married people, one wish they frequently express is that they remain best of friends and closest of companions. Surveys in fact have revealed that one of the greatest components that will enable a couple to weather the storms in rough and tough times is their friendship.

Intimacy

Like children we need to keep the communication lines of friendship uncomplicated and open, being honest and transparent with one another, being  genuinely concerned,  supportive, amusing and playful, yes playful, some ladies are of the opinion that a relationship is serious business and there should be no playful aspect involved. Enjoy every intimate moment that you spend together and share your experiences as well.

Indeed if we are really serious about building long lasting friendships and relationships that lead to marriage, we should get closer, more personal and intimate with him. Be his best friend.  Let him be content and safe with you.

Compliments

A lot of people feel giving compliments is totally unnecessary after all they say, he knows I appreciate all he does but how will he know when you don’t tell him. A lot of guys I have spoken with complain about this seemingly unimportant and overlooked aspect in friendships. Why? Its because he feels used when he does things for you and you don’t in  turn appreciate him.

A pat on the back, a thumbs up, a smile etc All these kind gestures go a long way to boost his ego and make him feel appreciated, special and give him the feeling of Now I can achieve anything in the world.

Criticizing him, making him feel he is inadequate or not up to the task of being the man for you are pitfalls you should avoid. If you must criticize, do so in love. Appreciate all he does, besides he is your friend and not your slave.

Friendship built on the Rock is not a day’s affair. It takes years but with patience, trust and commitment you will surely get there whilst not forget ting also that what takes years to build can be destroyed with the slightest foolish act.

As you fill all these slots in his life, his heart will be drawn to you because you help make his dream come true.

]]> http://kejiogunbanjo.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/all-the-single-ladies/feed/ 0 Kaygee http://kejiogunbanjo.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/reflection/ http://kejiogunbanjo.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/reflection/#comments Tue, 12 May 2009 13:46:18 +0000 Keji Ogunbanjo http://kejiogunbanjo.wordpress.com/?p=102 ]]> Last weekend was a great time for me. Well because it was my birthday but somehow I forgot about  it except for the calls and text messages that kept coming in from within Nigeria and abroad, from the United Kingdom to The USA, from midnight till morning, then through out the day till nighttime and even on to the next day.

It was actually going to be a hectic day for me as I had a list of places I had to be plus I had to be at work too and so naturally I just forgot that it was my birthday and when it dawned on me, these are some of the thoughts that occupied my mind.

Gone are the days when birthdays were just times of licking ice cream , eating rice, singing happily to school in your frock, when parents organized a birthday bash and you were the centre of attraction. Childish fantasies you may say, but I guess they were necessary at those times. Then as the times and seasons changed, as we grew older it slowly dawned on us that every sunrise gives us one day more to live and every sunset gives us one day less to live. The important thing then is, what you do between those sunrises and sunsets that have been giving to you . Even while you are dusting the corners your mind to start to think about it, you realise that you are still very much in the loop  and the centre of attraction in the sense of what things have your life have been attracting and how attractive has your life been to those around you.

Birthdays afford us such times of reflections about your life, where you are and where you heading and what you are doing to make it more than just a mere existence for we are not just some forgotten beings happening aloof in the corner of the universe but people who have got a purpose to fulfill and reason for living. And well until you know the true purpose and reason for your life then you may well just be….existing.

Really birthdays are serious business. I remember during my undergraduate days, there was a popular scripture that became the anthem for most if not all birthday celebrations, I’m sure you know it, it goes thus, “Teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom”. And when the student preacher or whoever it was that would exhort us would quote that scripture and expound on it, you realize how very little time you have and so much that you still have to do/achieve that is if you have begun at all.

Such times in our lives also afford us the opportunity for introspection and truly ask ourselves, If there be any value we are adding to this world by our existence, How many lives we be changing if any at all? What impact do we have on the people around us? What values do we stand for? What is it that will be said of me when I am gone? And so many more soul searching questions.

For me, I realized that in my own little way, I guessed I had affected some lives in my own little way and even though I had forgotten about my birthday, the people whose lives you have affected may very well never forget. But I am not resting on my oars!

The moral of the story? How much of life are you truly living and what are you doing to make it more meaningful and attractive  for yourself and for others.

Ordinary men count each day, but Great men make each day count!